5 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Building Our Home

Building our home has been one of the most rewarding things we've ever done—and one of the most challenging.

I spent countless hours planning before construction began. I researched materials, gathered bids, made drawings, compared finishes, and tried to anticipate every decision I could. And still, there were things I couldn't have fully understood until we were actually living through the process.

Now that we're on the other side—or at least mostly on the other side—these are five things I wish I had known from the beginning.

1. Don't Budget for Materials Without Budgeting for Labor

I spent a lot of time watching the cost of materials. What I didn't always account for was how much the installation of those materials could cost.

Some of the features we love most required considerably more labor than the materials themselves—the plasterwork on our range hood and fireplace, the brickwork, and several of our tile installations.

Would I change those decisions? No. Those handcrafted details give our home character, and I believe they were worth the investment. But I would go into them with a clearer understanding of the total installed cost—not simply the cost of the material.

If something matters to the vision for your home, keep it. Just make sure you've budgeted for what it actually takes to create it.

2. Don't Let Decision Fatigue Change the Vision

Building a home involves an astonishing number of decisions, and after months of making them, decision fatigue is real.

That's when it becomes tempting to say, Fine. Just do it the easier way.

There were times when a subcontractor suggested simplifying something we had planned because another approach would be faster or easier. Sometimes those suggestions are worth considering. But sometimes, the easier solution changes the very detail that made the design special.

Know which details matter to you, and be willing to stand your ground on them.

An extra conversation or a little more time is often worth it when you're making a decision you'll live with for years.

3. Something Will Go Wrong

Actually, several things will.

You can research every material, make detailed drawings, confirm dimensions, and plan months ahead—and something will still surprise you.

A material will be delayed. Something will arrive wrong. A measurement will be off. A carefully planned detail won't work quite the way you expected.

I wish I had understood earlier that these moments aren't evidence that the project is going badly. They're simply part of building a house.

Expect them; then, move from disappointment to problem-solving as quickly as you can. Some unexpected problems may even lead to solutions you like better than the original plan.

4. Assume It Will Take Longer—and Cost More

Even with multiple bids, advance planning, and materials sourced ahead of time, nearly every stage of our build took a little longer or cost a little more than we initially expected.

One of the kindest things you can do for yourself before building is to leave margin—in the budget, in the schedule, and maybe even in your expectations. When every dollar and every day is already accounted for, the inevitable surprises feel like emergencies.

When you've planned for some uncertainty, they're simply part of the process.

5. It Really Is Worth It

I've decided building a house is a little like pregnancy.

It's a long journey filled with discomfort, anticipation, swollen ankles, sleepless nights, and moments when you wonder exactly what you've gotten yourself into.

And then the baby arrives.

Suddenly you're holding this little person you've waited so long to meet, and the difficult parts of getting there don't seem nearly as important anymore.

That's a little how this house feels to me. Our building journey was long, and even though we've moved in, we're still not completely finished.

But now we get to live here.

We get to sit around the table. Cook dinner in the kitchen. Welcome people through the door. Watch our family settle into the rooms we spent so many months imagining on paper.

And yes—

it was worth it.

A Few Words Before You Build

If you're preparing to build your own home, don't expect the process to be perfect.

Plan carefully. Protect your budget. Ask questions. Leave margin. And when a detail truly matters to the vision you've worked so hard to create, don't be afraid to advocate for it.

But remember to enjoy the privilege of creating a place where life will happen.

Eventually the plans disappear, the subcontractors leave, and the endless decisions come to an end, and what remains isn't a construction project.

It's home.